31 MAY 2020
We have a very difficult night with Jean, it is clear that a ‘non-slip’ mat is no match for my aunt. After repeated visits to the Annexe to try to reposition her and make her comfortable, she then seems to lose the ability to stand and shuffle, although on Saturday she was able to manage this quite well with the physio. She collapses on us several times and by the morning it is clear that we are no longer able to move her safely, and I suspect her deterioration may be due to a UTI. We call the district nurse for help and to assess the situation, they are also unable to move her, and they call the paramedics, Jean is taken to hospital and this time she is admitted.
I am very upset, the whole episode has been terribly sad and demoralising. Despite the risks of hospital admittance, we know this is the best course of action for her, her condition will now be assessed by a team of experts, who will decide what is required for her to be looked after safely. I think the effect of trying to cope with someone with such extreme needs at a time when support has had to be limited due to the virus, has had a greater effect on me than I realised, and now she has gone I feel exhausted and very emotional. I have quite a few conversations with nurses and a doctor during the rest of the day to fill them in on Jean’s situation, and I do eventually venture outside, but apart from watering and attending to a few bits and pieces in the polytunnel to distract myself, the garden is largely left to its own devices today. I do take dad for a walk and we sit quietly and chat about Jean, he definitely thinks that she needed to go to hospital which is reassuring to hear. We will all take advantage of this temporary lull to recharge out batteries and hopefully the way forward will become clear.